Human Proxmity to Cat

Today is the perfect day

2008-02-12T18:34:39Z

Today is like the perfect day. It's raining heavily, and I love rainy days. The wind is blowing in just the right direction that I can open a window and smell the rain and the ozone from the lightning strikes.

And there's ducks. Right outside my window.

I like ducks. X3

Pretty wallpaper/I'm just about over Naruto

2007-07-17T06:45:48Z

Y'know, Naruto has a special place in my heart. I've been following it for about 4 years now. I spent a year of my life on a Naruto internet community more or less to the exclusion of my social life. I've met some important friends there, and fell in love.
What happened?
(if Narutoes not relevant to your interests, scroll down to end of entry)

I've survived 3 years of Naruto fandom angst.
"This is the chapter that ruined Naruto"
"X is too powerful now"
"I can't believe they killed X"
"Where is X? S/he was my favorite character"

And so on, and the rest. I never had a problem with any of that. What interested me was the setting; the world of Naruto. The vagaries of characters, pairings, deaths - none of that really bothered me.
But now we have Sasuke.

I've always liked Sasuke. Never had a problem with him, not even when he killed Orochimaru. I had a problem with Orochimaru dying, true, but it wasn't Sasuke's fault Kishi made him kill Oro.
And I guess it's not Sasuke's fault Deidara's dead now, either. But the very thing that's always kept me floating above all the wangst - my love for the setting - has been irrevocably ruined.

Sasuke is a fucking golden god. He's on drugs. ~~He digs music.~~ HE'S ON DRUGS.
Just imagine that the crowd are Uchihatards and the voice of reason is mainstream Naruto fans. It's pretty accurate.

This is One Piece shit. Deidara just went nuclear on Sasuke, because he was as frustrated as I am with the asshole. There's an explosion 10 kilometers across right on Sasuke's head, and next chapter, Sasuke is going to pop out of the ground and say "lol good thing I can dig", or something equally stupid.

The last 5-ish chapters have been the most awful travesty in Naruto ever. It's just been more Uchiha masturbation - and it's been rubbed raw since Orochimaru - at the expense of one of Kishi's better characters.

I'm just completely over it.

Anyway, so for the last week or so, this has been my wallpaper:

I don't normally have girls for wallpaper, but I suppose there was something irresistible about an Asian with an ass like that. I'm not normally even that interested in backsides. That girl has something going for her.

But today I found this, and changed it immediately:

I actually find this inexplicably hotter than Asian-san. Is this my artistic side showing? Am I just a fruit?

Which do you find more appealing, dear friends?

Here's the full-sized backgrounds, for those interested:

Asian Ass
A single touch

Hay Kids, This is why Computer Games are Bad, mmkay?

2007-07-09T04:06:43Z

Gather around, children. I have a tale of woe from 10 years ago that might just give you a little perspective in your own lives, be you 14 or 44.

10 years ago I was an 8th grade student at Herbert J. Hoover Junior High School in my hometown of Melbourne. I played soccer and was an avid surfer and beachgoer. Popular enough I suppose. My grades left something to be desired - they always have - but nothing catastrophic.

Then came Starcraft.

If you've ever heard me wax nostalgic, you might've heard me mention that 1998-ish, I placed 8th on the USEast Starcraft ladder (terran, encroaching defense) - basically, I came in eighth out of about 15000 ladder players in the Eastern US at the time. This was because I was fairly obsessed with the game. I'd come home from school and play 8 games in a row. I didn't hang out with my friends nearly as much, I forgot I even had homework, much less thought about doing it, and ruined my parent's cautious hopes that I'd be different from other teenagers.

Shouldn't have bought me that computer, guys! LOL!

So anyway, that was just a distant memory - until I cleaned out a few boxes that've been sitting around for ages in preparation to move to a new apartment. I found a report card from right around that time.

FUCKING AWESOME GRADES GET!!!
If you're wondering about the classes I didn't completely blow...
so am I.
Well, as for history, I find the subject fascinating, but I find science fascinating too. What gave me that C was that Mr. Deppner was 75 and quite senile. He didn't keep track of grades - the only reason I didn't get an A is he didn't like my attitude.
As for striking objects, well, I definitely deserved that later in life, when I broke my hand 28 times striking various objects. But honestly I have no fucking clue what that class was about or who Ray was.

Anyway, now the wonderful fellows at Blizzard entertainment have created an even more devestating form of internet cancer, WoW. AND Starcraft 2 is coming up.
Will I be buying a copy? Hell yes. Will I be buying a new computer just to play it? Quite possibly.
Will I play online? No. Fuck that.

So if you've found your life suffering, even in the slightest, from your online habits, I hope you can learn a lesson from this. I was fortunate that middle school grades count for approximately cock in the grand scheme of things (I didn't even need summer school after this travesty) but it could have been much worse.

Saavy? Wisdom GET?

I Have Never Been this Depressed by Porn Before

2007-05-24T20:10:14Z

So it's 1AM and I'm still not the slightest bit tired, and suddenly a friend of mine messages me out of nowhere, telling me that she shouldn't be downloading porn, due to bad experiences.

Dan says:
What horror did you get today?
Amanda says:
sakura cosplay yuri
Dan says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dan says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dan says:
!!!!!!!
Dan says:
!!
Dan says:
!!

It's a slight understatement to say she got my attention. You see, I have a bit of a fetish for a certain Naruto character named Sakura.

I'm also, for whatever reason, really quite fond of pink hair. So when someone tells me that there's a girl in Sakura costume having girlsex... well, I'm a pervert. And a nerd. It's relevant to my interests. Like a million dollars is relevant to my interests.

So I download it. It really sounds too good to be true to me. Most anime character costumes look horrible; it's very unusual to see someone get it right. So this girl is probably fat and wears a pink T-shirt to call herself Sakura.

OH MY GOD.

She's fucking hot and her costume is close to perfect. She might be the hottest Sakura I've seen in my life. I'm already close to messing my pants in the first 3 seconds of this video. And... wait, this is a PORN video? This girl is going to get naked? No WAI.

YA WAI. @___@ At this point I'm thanking God for allowing me to live, and I'm not even sure if a God exists. If God does exist, she probably looks like this Sakura here. I made plans to marry my right hand and live happily ever after.

But man, did God ever teach me a lesson. Sounds too good to be true? It ALWAYS is. So what could possibly take away from the giga asston of hotness and God and win this insanely attractive Sakura represents?
How about her partner looks like FUCKING COURTNEY LOVE.
I'm not even going to post a screenshot, that's how ugly the other girl is. Also, the camera pretty much focuses on Courtney the whole fucking time, and hideously, she's naked almost the whole time. So is Sakura, but it's like trying to see Venus when the Gorgon Demon Star is shining in your face.

I can't begin to describe how sad this makes me. If Sakura had just made a solo video, my life would have been complete. I mean, of course another hot girl would've been better, but no need to push your luck, right? Well, look what fucking happened. I started with the prettiest anime dork costume awesome ever, and ended up with a travesty.

There's a lesson here. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm sure you won't learn it in 6th grade sex ed.

Bleached Black and White

2007-05-16T21:41:59Z

So kucheekybadkuya was telling me only a few weeks ago that all the Arrancar are duplicates of the Shinigami from the Soul Society arc. I told her that's crap.

Y'know, it really isn't.

I mean, right now, we have an evil analytical scientist character on the front stage.

What kind of evildoers have a dorky scientist on their team?
The awesome type, that's who. But it's just a little odd doing it twice. I mean, granted, Aizen might've gotten his ideas from the organization of the Gotei 13, but honestly, after having to work with this guy -

- why would you want another of those among your immediate subordinates? Not only are they going to put metal in your microwave just to see what happens on a daily basis, but they seem to have a LITTLE difficulty following orders. "Gee, Aizen-sama, I didn't REALLY understand what you meant when you said 'don't attack the intruders'. I thought you meant 'don't attack the intruders... unless I see an opportunity to throw away some of those worthless arrancar you were planning on attacking Soul Society with."

Same problem Mayuri had. Unohana sends out priority-one distress call telling all of Soul Society that Aizen has gone rampant and they need help now-ish. Even Kenpachi, Yoruichi, Soi Fong, Yamamoto and his boys stop their fights and come running.
What does Mayuri do? Takes a shower.

Then we have Noitora.

And so on, and the rest. Icon relevant as well.
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Bleach is exactly ruined. It still rocks. I am totally not going to mind seeing a repeat of the Soul Society arc - personally I think it's the best shounen arc ever, and apparently Kubo knows it too, because he doesn't feel confident enough straying far from that winning formula. A slice of strawberry cheesecake is still a slice of strawberry cheesecake.

But here's what should happen, really. Made by Byakuya-kun on NF.

Hiding behind the Internet

2007-05-05T22:46:07Z

Being at least an occasional denizen of the internet, it's a good bet you've heard one or more of these lines before:

"It's just the internet."
"lol Internet SERIOUS BUSINESS"
"I have to go do things in REAL LIFE."

No, sir, you have to go FAIL.

This sort of shit bothers me severely. I'd like to think most people are intelligent enough to understand that behind every computer screen, every user name, every wall of text, there's a real person. What exactly do you think this is, the Matrix? Am I wearing a leather trenchcoat and art deco sunglasses? Do you think I can dodge the little bullets of stupidity you're firing in my direction?

If the internet isn't reality, then where do you draw the line? Is someone you're talking to on the phone not serious business? Do I have to be within 200 meters of your esteemed person to be considered real life? Can I have some of your air, or do I not need it, since I'm just the internet?

People assume that because they don't have to come face-to-face with the people they're interacting with, it's okay to engage in behavior that, were you to meet in person, would get them punched in their groin. Almost ubiquitously, the sort of people who hide behind the internet are failures in their precious real life, and so retreat to the internet to gain some of their respect back. Unfortunately, the internet is just as real as they are. Their ability to socialize raking somewhere between a chimpanzee and a burning pile of dog shit, they lose on the internet too. The difference being that they can hide behind it and pretend they're still somehow superior to the people who just ridiculed them like the simian goons they are.

Don't get me wrong. It's fun and productive to try being a different person when you have control of the anonymity level. It's when you get the perception that it's okay to be a sandy little butthole - and then hide when the whirlwind comes - that you need to leave.

And then there's this little gem:

First of all, most special olympians > us. Whether I would have the pride and courage to compete in anything with a crippling disability is definitely up for debate.

Second, whoever made this originally just got owned in an internet argument and decided that a picture is worth a thousand words. I'm not sure it is, in this case - how many synonyms for pathetic can you think of? I'm only up to 13.

How about this instead?

So about this Livejournal thing

2007-04-09T17:28:28Z

I've been stalking people here forever, and I figured it's courtesy to give them something substantial to throw shoes at, so here's my profile. Nothing amazing here, keep it moving.